I hate being alone. I am very socially awkward. My friends usually see me as an outgoing and very friendly kind of girl, but honestly I’m only like that if I’m with someone. Being with a friend or family is like a confidence booster for me.
This year though, my friends and I had to go our own separate ways and I’m forced to live in Cebu alone, away from my family, because of my review. And so, I am forced to deal with the fact that I’m going to have to learn how to be alone. Below are the things that I’ve learned so far:
- EVERYTHING IS EXPENSIVE.
Like seriously! Before, when I go grocery shopping with my Nanay, I just pick any food that I want. Now? I have to mentally compute the prices and have a VERY HEATED debate with myself on whether or not buying Double-stuffed oreos is a NEED? or a WANT. (PS. It’s a NEED) But because of this, I’m learning how to budget my money, so that’s a plus.
2. Choosing what to eat is a challenge.
My review is usually from 5pm-9pm and so every after class, I have to have to decide what I’m going to eat for dinner. It’s a hassle! When I’m at home, the food is always laid out on the table, just waiting to be eaten.
3. In extension to number 2, eating HEALTHILY IS EXPENSIVE.
Like seriously, why are healthy foods so expensive? A salad is worth twice the amount I have to pay for a Mcdonald’s meal! And because I tend to splurge my allowance on pens and notebooks from National Bookstore, my Nanay decided that 2k a week is enough for me to survive. ( I know that this is such a first world problem, but honestly, 2k isn’t enough here in Cebu for some reason).
4. Gadgets and Internet become your bestfriend.
Night times are usually the loneliest. I get through it by watching Netflix and youtube videos, playing candy crush, or browsing through all of my social media. Sometimes, when I’m studying, I play a video so that it would seem like there was someone in the room with me. Pathetic right? It works though!
5. Being alone ain’t that bad.
Being alone made me discover and love myself even more. I am very self conscious and am usually my number one critic, but being alone made me want to start improving myself in terms of looks and lifestyle. I’ve been obsessed with make up recently. I’m no beauty guru and the only think I know how to apply is lipstick, concealer and foundation, but hey! I’m recently trying to learn how to groom my eyebrows.
All in all, I’ve come to realize that being alone had more ups than downs. I usually go home during the weekend though. I guess in life, there will come a time wherein we have to be alone so that we may be able to discover and love ourselves. 🙂